Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Somethings don't mix.

Hello all,
Okay so my usual workday morning routine begins with getting pushed out of bed by my sweet and loving wife as I then make my way to the bathroom to grab my robe. I go to the kitchen spend the next 20 minutes or so making a very elaborate and delicious breakfast to energize me for the next 4 hours or so until I eat again on my break at work. Upon completion of breakfast I curl up on the couch with my freshly brewed coffee and begin a little quiet time of prayer and reading. This usually goes without complication and then I lose the robe, get dressed and ready for work.

A couple weeks ago I woke up one Monday morning and began my routine. Everything was going great. I finished up my omelet and toast, grabbed my cup o' joe and made my way to the couch where my bible was open and waiting. I began reading in John I believe and was having a difficult time really waking up and keeping my eyes open. As I am sitting there holding my cup of coffee over my lap, I decided to lay my head back against the couch for whatever reason. Well sure enough I was just comfortable enough to doze off for a few more minutes of precious sleep.....except I didn't get a few minutes. I fell asleep just long enough for the muscles in my right hand to relax, therefore releasing my cup of coffee.

Now let's recall a few details.
1. I was only wearing a robe.
2. I was holding the coffee over my lap.
3. My cup of coffee was no longer being supported.

1 + 2 + 3 = My burning loins! Yes I poured my hot coffee on my unprotected and unsuspecting loins. This of course immediately awakened me to the thought that I had wet myself. I quickly realized that was not the case, but did not feel much relief when I realized what really happened. I have since changed my morning routine and it keeps a deliberate separation of coffee and crotch.